Personal space

Generally it is said that the Japanese have less of a need of personal spaces than other countries’ people. Especially not many Japanese women have personal spaces issues. I agree with these ideas. As you know, Japan is an island country and there are large mountainous areas, so population density is high and people don’t have a lot of space. Has Japan’s geography made our personal spaces narrower?

Japanese women walk closely and sit at very close range with their friends, even though they have more space. Many of my friends also behave like this; walk very closely just like when they board on a crowded train. They are alright with this situation, but to me it is uncomfortable. However, I never noticed my need for personal space until some of my friends asked me, “Why do you always push me away while walking?” I seem to elbow my friends aside to get more space unconsciously when we are walking.

When I am on a train, sometimes people, usually women of all ages, stand very close to me even if there is more space. I always think to myself, “Please move 20cm more away from me.” I know that if I’m not comfortable I should be the one who moves because the train is not mine and she is just standing close to me, not touching me. I know she isn’t doing anything wrong, but why should I move, when I was there first? I also like to stand near a door or in a corner of the train. Furthermore there is more space. Why doesn’t she see that there is more space, and why doesn’t she notice that we are close enough to feel each other’s body heat? — “Look around you lady, there is more space! Please back off!” Maybe I have need more personal space than ordinary Japanese women.

Then, I think I found a connection between the amount of personal space and Japanese women’s behavior. If it is right, I think I can understand why many Japanese women don’t care and weren’t interested in strangers or people in general.

For example, many Japanese girls put on make up in public, on the train, unembarrassed. People who don’t embarrass easily. People who don’t care about social boundaries regarding what’s public and what’s private. These people may not notice other people’s presence around them, because they are present outside of their personal spaces, even if others are sitting next to them on a train. That’s why Japanese girls aren’t ashamed of their behavior. They think that people around them are completely nothing that they are like puppets, statues or nearly a background. It is more important to them to put on false eyelashes and make themselves the best looking on a train. They don’t care what people on the train think of them, because they are only thinking about themselves and the boyfriend they are going to meet. Depending on how I look at it, I could also say that the girls might simply be practical about their time management. It might not be about personal space.

Actually I don’t know how the amount of personal space differs between countries, but I know that I’ve never seen the same behavior outside of Japan. People avoided getting on a crowded train and tried to catch the next one. This was about 20 years ago in NYC — during Japan’s bubble economy — so now it might be a little bit different. New York City was the busiest city in the world at that time. Manhattan is just as dense as Tokyo. I’m not surprised if New Yorkers’ sense of personal space is becoming more like Tokyoites. After all, is this not a matter of geography? Or is it a matter of cultural difference?

 

So far, I can’t establish a connection between cultural difference and the sense of personal space. I don’t know why people have different sense of personal space. However, I trust many Japanese women have less a need of personal space for the reasons listed above. Bottom line, I want everyone to stay away at least 30cm more away from me on trains. Even though, I am a Japanese woman.